Reality....

Where: Office Workstation
When: Oct 6 2014


I came in the office early today, just want to start early so I can get home early...and so I thought but to my surprise our bubble buddy scheduled the training at 4am-6am. So there goes my going home early.

I was listening to the music saved on my phone when Keith Urban's Tonight I wanna cry came on. This was one of the songs, my husband, my boyfriend then, was listening when we were going through the lowest point of our 10-yr relationship. I have never given the lyrics much attention until now. The song really describe him, he was really not the type who shows what he is feeling. During those times we was always drunk and when I see him in the office his eyes were sad and tired. You can easily tell that he cried or was crying. He always have panic attacks. This lead me to read again his blog, how he wrote about the hurt he was feeling, the regret and pain he was going through.

Now that we have gone pass that point, I cannot believe how much pain I caused him and how much he sacrificed. I am teary-eyed now actually. I am thinking how low he must felt during those times.

I am thinking that whenever I feel of giving up on us, because I am tired, or we don't see eye to eye or just simply because I don't feel like "liking" him at the moment, all I need to do is to read his blog posts to put me back on track. To remind me how he fought for us, how much he loves me and our family.